Originally published on 10Blessings.org
Tokeitha K. is a domestic violence and sexual abuse survivor with a mission to help people transform their past pain into a "marketplace of possibilities". She serves as a 10 Blessings, 10K Survivors ambassador. Her advocacy and influence carried her to the White House Champion of Change event. Tokeitha's book, "Too Precious to Be: A Guide to Restoring Women Suffering in Silence", chronicles her journey through a life of pain and healing.
Here, she gives insight into journey from pain to healing after domestic violence:
"To Be Continued" - Tokeitha K.
Life after Domestic Violence is a real thriller - just like visiting a haunting house. Your senses are heightened and the trauma of your past relationships alters your thought process and interactions with others. Just as one reads the signs on a haunted house, you read the warning signs and observe every detail on a new partner or friend. Anxiety and fear are constant obstacles in your quest for freedom. Some survivors are like the walking dead, living and breathing in silence. Other survivors find the courage to use their voice. They scream hope with the power of their natural gifts and talents. Many create healthy outlets in the form of a play, book, song or a program.
The reality for many survivors is that what they thought would be Love and Happiness turned out to be Pain and Shame. The terms and conditions of abuse left behind scars, darkness and in many cases, death. No one deserves to suffer but many survivors are still “Under Construction” - constantly finding ways to break the chains of abuse that tried to constrict their precious lives. Each level of existence opens the next door of resilience.
Working toward forgiveness is like walking through a labyrinth of agony. Practicing self-control feels more like a curse from an ax murder. Needless to say, moving forward can easily turn into a house of nightmares if you don’t let go of the past. Life after Domestic Violence may be a hair-raising, spine-chilling journey toward healing but once healing arrives, the freedom you experience will make it all worth it.
Like every haunted house, there is an entrance and exit. As a survivor of Domestic Violence, I’m clearly not the same woman I was prior to the hitting, spitting, choking and verbal lashings. I made it through the horror and survived to tell the tale. This October, remember the lives of those who died at the hands of violence. Scream for the next generation to be free from abuse and fight for the freedom of all mankind.
Keep in touch with Tokeitha on social media @TokeithaK